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Joke of the Day

"You said you wanted a video of me eating a banana. Nothing about me not slicing it. YOU'RE WELCOME."

"So Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table, and then a stool."

"I have a big business on kids and murders. They all love my ferrets."

"How do you know if someone has been to Florida? They'll tell you."

"What was the philosopher's favorite toy growing up? Playdough."

"Another Knock Knock Joke Knock Knock... Who's There? Autch Autch-Who? Gesundheit...."

"My wife has a book on homeopathy I've only read the blurb on the back, but I think I know everything I need to know about it."

"Went to ""The Social Network."" I ran into people I didn't like in high school and they kept showing me pictures of their kids."

"Why is Alabama the smartest state? Because it has four A's and one B."

"I can tell by the way you keep snapping your gum in my ear that you really don't value your life at all."