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Joke of the Day

"I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up."

"Besides OP's mom, Which character would you like to have seen more of on the Andy Griffith show?"

"What is a pedophile's favorite shoe? White Vans."

"How does Mike Tyson get smarter? By taking a math gainer."

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word? And 'entruncated'? How about 'monosyllabic'? Who's running this language?"

"My beard itches, Web MD: Beard cancer"

"Everyday, millions of plants are killed by vegetarians. Help stop the violence. Eat a steak."

"Oh you graduated from DeVry too?! Which month were you?"

"Back in high school, I had this very bad beard and everyone would make fun of for it... So I had to start using a razor to *shave* face"

"I finally quit smoking because it was bad for my wealth."