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Joke of the Day

"I was so sad and crying when I lost my playstation 3 but unfortunately, there was nobody to console me!"

"20 year old me: *imagines awesome career, travelling the world, being in love* 32 year old me: *tweets*"

"I was only mildly famous in the '90s but vaccinate your kids"

"In some people's eyes, throwing acid is wrong"

"If 50 Shades of Grey were in the NFL... ...it'd be on the Commissioner's Exempt list."

"At the disco last night. They played twist. I did the twist. They played jump. I jumped. They played come on Eileen. I got kicked out."

"New 10 dollar bill did you hear about the new 10 dollar bill with a women on it ? ... it's only worth $7.70"

"Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."

"How do know if the person that you have just met is a DJ? They will tell you."

"What do you call a women who has had a lot of sex? Her name #Feminist jokes"