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Joke of the Day

"""I'm sorry. I haven't had sex for a very long time."" -- and other things I say during the meeting to excuse my bad behavior."

"Is Lobster Bisque a good rap name?"

"The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense"

"Why can't French people count to 5? Because there's a **tree** in the way."

"What is blonde and brown blonde and brown blonde and brown? Answer. Madonna doing cartwheels."

"The Four Types of Orgasms The Good ""oh yes, oh yes"" The Bad ""oh no, oh no"" The Religious ""oh god, oh god"" And the Fake ""Oh *person's name*"""

"Bus stop A man with three eyes, no arms and one leg is waiting at a bus stop. A bus pulls up. The driver opens the door and says, ""Eye eye eye, you look armless enough, hop on!"""

"What is Oedipus Rex's Mom's favorite Elton John song? Don't Let The Son Go Down On Me"

"Alligators and Condoms Are two things I don't fuck with"

"In honour of Agatha Christie, turn off all the lights and kill one of your work colleagues."