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Joke of the Day

"Hispanic and black jokes are really all the same... Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."

"[laser tag] Instructor: Dude, you're not gonna run out of ammo Me [strapping bayonet to the end of gun]: let's just agree to disagree"

"Morpheus: ""You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and--"" Me: ""Blue pill."""

"How do you fit more pigs on your farm? Build a sty-scraper!"

"Today I accidentally dropped my sunglasses into the toilet and flushed them. Tomorrow a very cool alligator will rule the sewers."

"After I undress you with my eyes I redress you with my eyes because it's still January so it's super cold out and I have considerate eyes."

"Billy was a chemist's son/ But now he is no more/ 'Cos what he thought was H20/ Was H2So4."

"Why did the global warming activist compliment the earth? Cause it looked hotter than usual! (I'll see myself out)"

"Don't trust atoms. They make up everything."

"So 3 mods and a user walk into a bar [deleted]"