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Joke of the Day
"My uncle was a fiend for oral and older women. We called him the aunteater"
Next Joke
"What do you say if you're testing a new firearm? ""I'll take a shot"""
"I heard my cat walking down the hall because his claws are too long. Then I realized I hadn't taken off his tap shoes since the photo shoot."
"""If you woke up with your pants at your ankles and your ass covered in vasoline, would you tell anybody?"" Guy #2: ""No."" Guy #1: ""Just wondering.... Wanna go camping?"""
"""If Bernie doesn't get the nom, I'm voting Trump."" ""Also, if McDonald's is out of chicken nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."""
"I had to Seymour Hoffman at the gas station today You know, Philip?"
"I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him."
"""Nope. Nope. Yeah right. Nope. Close! Nah. Nope. Almost! Hahaha, you're terrible at this."" - piece of popcorn stuck between teeth."
"is there a sadder metaphor of ur adulthood destroying ur childhood than the fact that to get to work evryday u hav to burn up dead dinosaurs"
"Im trying the new Vodka diet... Lose 3 days every week"