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Joke of the Day

"""If Bernie doesn't get the nom, I'm voting Trump."" ""Also, if McDonald's is out of chicken nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."""

"Is it bad to hate a certain race? Because I despise the 100 meter"

"Startin' a band with some guys I used to work with called LinkedIn Park."

"If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth the $20"

"I don't know who the pun editor of the NY Post is, but the headline PEACHES' DEATH IS STILL FUZZY deserves a citation and/or beating."

"ISIS is knocking on my door recruiting... Cause I just bombed this physics test."

"If you die whilst urinating Then you literally piss your life away"

"I'm hosting a benefit for people who struggle, to reach orgasm. Let me know if you can't come"

"I snort a lot of cocaine for a sober person."

"What do you get when you finger a gypsy on her period? Your palm red for free"