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Joke of the Day

"What's got 2 thumbs and is worse than Donald Trump? No, seriously. I'm asking."

"Why did the baker have smelly hands? Because he needed a poo."

"the devil has a tape recorder containing the sounds you made when you sang aloud with a group but didn't actually know the words"

"I heard you put your dick in peanut butter jar... That's fucking nuts"

"I once had a job circumcising Elephants The pay was low, but the tips were *huge*"

"It's Thanksgiving! Who doesn't like Turkey? Russia."

"Customer: I didn't order this. Waiter: I know but your meal tastes worse."

"Why were the letters a-y banned? They were all nazis"

"Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel."

"this guy said i had a chip on my shoulder. i looked over and saw a bowl of salsa on his. i knew right then kids. your father was my soulmate"