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Joke of the Day

"*coroner takes picture of my body after I'm brutally murdered* Me: delete it"

"I eat a wide variety of foods: lasagna, tacos, hamburgers... and dim sum."

"Rick Astley will let you have any movie from his Disney collection except one He's never gonna give you Up"

"What do you call a scary prostitute? Horrifying."

"Guys love legs. Women, if you can grow more legs that would be a major turn on"

"Why aren't you doing very well in history? Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!"

"One nice thing about your 30s is people talk less about figuring themselves out and more about where the best sandwiches are."

"How does Dracula like to have his food served? In bite-sized pieces."

"I got a fitbit to get a sense for my activity level After a few days of wearing it, it asked if I was a tree"

"So excited that The Weather Channel picked up ""Weather"" for another season!!"