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Joke of the Day

"*coroner takes picture of my body after I'm brutally murdered* Me: delete it"

"I want to start a Bantu Saliva cover band... And call it ""Click Click Boom"". ^I'll ^^show ^^^myself ^^^^out."

"Rumours suggest Usain Bolt has been cheating on his wife. I'm amazed she hasn't caught him. Then I remembered that he can finish in 9.58 seconds."

"Last night I ate 3 large spicy curry rolls while watching Westworld. These violent delights have violent ends."

"I'll pleasure you in ways you never thought possible like vacuuming and doing dishes"

"How does one even? It simply doesn't, because it's odd."

"Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans? Because if they had one more, they would be 240."

"What do you call a hamburger that runs for president? A McTrump"

"What type of wind is named after Santa Claus's warm climate cousin? Santa Ana"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea??? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."