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Joke of the Day

"I Have an EpiPen My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"Look, mom, we can keep arguing about whether or not 28 is too old to live your parents but it's not gonna help us find my iguana any faster."

"Whats do a baby and old people have in common? They both get ditched in the park"

"I figured I'd just think of a punch line and then try to make a joke out of it. What did the comedian say when asked how he came up with his last joke?"

"The worst things in life are free, too. Like, gonorrhea, chapped elbows and flyers left on your windshield."

"Abraham: look here son, i got windows 98! Isaac: but dad, we don't have enough memory? Abraham:Have faith, God will provide the RAM."

"CEO of KFC: ""We must always respect our customers. That is so important."" Ian: ""Shall we still serve them food in a bucket?"" CEO: ""Yes."""

"Twitter yesterday: We are outraged about the lion! Twitter today: We are outraged about the outrage about the lion!"

"The cruelest part of the movie Bambi?nnnnHis mom named him ""Bambi."" nnShe deserved what she got for that."

"What I say: No! What my kids hear: There's a really good chance if you keep asking."