214647

Joke of the Day

"My therapist encouraged me to stop bending over backwards for people. But just between us, I really miss yoga."

"most cutting thing you can say is ""who's this clown?"" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns"

"Why don't people in Kuwait know who Obama is? Because they've been living under Iraq."

"SON: I'm moving out as soon as I turn 18 and you can't stop me. ME: [pumping fist] If you insist."

"In my local park there are three holes in the ground... Well, well, well."

"I have a joke about time travel But you got it the first time. (Best told two or three days after making the recently posted ""I have a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it."")"

"If you tell me to make myself at home, don't be surprised when I take my pants off and drink all your vodka."

"Getting to know someone is a lot like making toast; don't do it in the bathtub."

"How does a Tyrannosaurus Rex scratch it's junk? It squats down on a Triceratops."

"What does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella for? Fo Drizzle!"