149707

Joke of the Day

"I have a joke about time travel But you got it the first time. (Best told two or three days after making the recently posted ""I have a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it."")"

"When your wife says ""It's up to you"", it's not."

"Give a man a fish... ...and feed him for one meal. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime. Give a man a fire, he stays warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire and he stays warm for a lifetime."

"Charlie Sheen hates..... Parisians even more than the IS does."

"How many feminists does it take to screw a lightbulb? One to screw it in and nine to write on their blogs about how enlightening the experiment was."

"""There is superstitious....... writing on the wall..."" No Stevie, that's just the wood chip mate."

"Then Satan said, ""Let's convince everyone they need to go gluten free."" And that kids, was the Christmas fiasco of 2015."

"What do you call a color that doesn't exist? A pigment of your imagination."

"I was Given a Madden Game Guide My friend handed me a game guide on the game series Madden I gave it back to him and said It made me Maddened"

"Discretion is being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice."