214595

Joke of the Day

"[A Dad about to give the birds & the bees talk] ""Son, when-"" *Watches son try to poke a Capri Sun for 35 minutes* ""Know what, we're good"""

"What's the difference between Turkey and Duck? Duck doesn't deny the Armenian Genocide."

"I don't need to watch the debates, I read a bumper sticker the other day that totally convinced me"

"How far away is the US Army's website? Just a few klicks away."

"I went to a feminist picnic last weekend... No one made any sandwiches."

"Donald Trump's Executive Plan for the next 4 years. 1. Make America Great Again 2. ? 3. Profit"

"Do you want to know what I was for discovery channel dress up day? I dressed up as naked and afraid. I was naked everybody else was afraid."

"It did feel good. I used the craziest toilet this morning. It was one of those toilets that shoots water up your butt I forget the name. Bidet, it felt amazing."

"What's the Boogeyman's part-time job? BoogeyNAN!"

"Why was the pilot jealous of the chef? Because of his ground thyme."