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Joke of the Day

"My ex used to sing ""Brown Eyed Girl"" to me.... I have blue eyes. This should have been a sign."

"My friend went swimming in Egypt recently... I said to him 'you do realize your swimming in one of the longest rivers in the world!'. He didn't believe me though, he's in de nile."

"Why are locksmiths in Japan cooler than the rest of the world's locksmiths? Because in Japan they're rocksmiths. "

"A world without women... A world without women could be a real pain in the ass."

"What kind of car does god drive? A Christler"

"My friend keeps saying ""cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water"" I know he means well..."

"I'm like Superman. When people see me out in public I'm always in the same outfit."

"What's another name for black pitbull? Flo Rida"

"Don't waste electricity. Would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?"

"I'm giving up on the argument... From now on I will pronounce it 'gif'."