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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between michael jackson and a grocery bag? One is white, plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other holds your groceries"

"I don't get people that talk to themselves"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question. They can't change anything."

"I invented a motorized walking stick.. I call it the hurrycane."

"History channel."

"What lives in the sea and preys on mermaids? Jack The Kipper."

"A Galaxy Phone, an iPhone and a windows phone fall out a top story window. The galaxy phone bounces with minor cracks. The iPhone smashes into dozens of pieces. The windows phone freezes mid decent."

"I like my women like I like my coffee, Quiet."

"Do you know what 6.9 is? A good thing screwed up by a period."

"Helping my kid memorize a list of cities and accidentally wrote a Pitbull song."