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Joke of the Day

"Big things DO NOT always come in small packages! I wish someone had told me the truth before I pounced on this adorable midget. Poor fella."

"Only 50 more days til we find out who's our next President! Last time I was nauseous 50 days straight, at least I got a baby out of it!"

"Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock... [who's there] Not sally"

"Why is it that birds are quickly sold when they come up on the transfer market? They tend to go cheep!"

"Was at a pretty emotional wedding last week... ... Even the cake was in tiers!"

"Ear wax is disgusting. But when you're out of Vegemite, you're out of Vegemite."

"How come you never get into a fart contest with a girls? They have double barrels. Probably a repeat, but my brother in law hadn't heard it so I figured I would post it."

"I'm sorry to hear that your uncle was killed by a boat in Venice... My gondolences."

"What does a taxidermist do for a living? Oh you know... stuff..."

"The guy no one likes walked into a bar and said ""You lost The Game."""