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Joke of the Day

"I had dream that I really had to take piss When I woke up I had peed myself. Thats when I relised... dreams really do come true"

"Did you know Stalin got hit in the groin with a potato when he was young? That's how he became a dictator."

"I went on one of those once in a lifetime holidays last week... I won't be doing that again. joke by Tim Vine"

"A man walks into a bar and an egg falls on his head. The barman turns to him and says, ""The yolk's on you!"""

"What is a Golden retriever's favorite sex position? It doesn't really matter, as long as its ruff."

"[at my grandmas house] MY GRANDMA (not the grandma whose house we're at but my other grandma): (to my grandma whose house we are at) hey"

"How do you get a Twinkie pregnant? Put it in box of Ding Dongs. What is it afterwards? A HoHo"

"What's Dracula's favorite beer? Bloodweiser"

"Writing cuss words on the white space of textbook pages is marginally offensive."

"My computer is a nympho at night Because any little touch turns it on"