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Joke of the Day

"Why did the French milkman have to hurry? He was running lait"

"18: You & I are getting fat bec. u cook so damn good! IT'S.ALL.YOUR.FAULT! I was insulted, complimented, then scolded in under 2.5 seconds."

"What kind of salad dressing does a tree use?"

"[doorbell] ""Sir, do you believe Jesus died for your sins?"" ""No."" ""Why not?"" ""He died like 2000 years ago."" ""So?"" ""I'm 46. Do the math."""

"Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship? Neither, they both eat out."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? ...I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face"

"Wanna hear a bondage joke? Sorry I'm all tied up at the moment"

"Aren't you glad you no longer have that ""Call Me Maybe"" song in your head? Oops. Sorry. #SoCallMeMaybe!"

"What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless"

"So a blind man walks into a bar. At least he thinks so."