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Joke of the Day

"i just woke up from a 9 year coma! hope to god The Apprentice is off TV...nothing i hate more than that Donald Trump"

"What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law? You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender"

"It must've been so fun to live in ancient Egypt because everything you wrote was an emoji"

"Jokes about unemployed people are not funny... They just don't work."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? keep the tip."

"Dad with his son are watching a movie when a sex scene begins \-Son, leave the room please. \-Dad, but I'm 23... \-I don't give a fuck how old you are, you're not going to watch me jack off."

"Me: Check it out! I'm juggling! Wife: Me: Wife: You're supposed to use more than one ball. Me: Can't you just be happy for me?"

"Two bananas are sitting on a river bank.. A turd comes floating by. The turd says "" come on in guys, the waters great!"" The one banana looks at the other banana and says ""you believe that shit!"""

"What do you do to an elephant with three balls? Walk him, and pitch to the giraffe!"