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Joke of the Day

"What do maggots and Alabama fans have in common? They can both live off a dead bear for years."

"Hillary Clinton and Donald trump both are in the same car, who should be the driver? The police"

"Slugs are obviously snails that have been through a divorce."

"I wouldn't take a bullet for you but I'd definitely push someone in front of you to take it for you. Same thing."

"What do you call money you pay prostitutes? Headquarters"

"Little known fact: Mirrors are the leading cause of death among people who have looks that kill."

"What's the definition of trust? Two cannibals blowing each other."

"How do you make a cat go ""woof!"" Pour lighter fluid on it and set it ablaze... ""WOOOOF!"""

"Here's how pessimism works. It never works."

"Why did the Mexican train driver kill all of his passengers? I'm not sure, but he must have had a loco motive. edit: grammar"