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Joke of the Day

"I went to the hospital today and told the doctor my baby was born 9 months early. She asked to see it, so I came on her face."

"I think it's just about time to sit my 9yr old down and give her the ""Your mom is a pyscho and you're probably gonna end up one too"" speech."

"My wife thinks our sex life has got boring and I'm easily distracted... Oh well, better get back to it I suppose."

"Why do women have short feet? So they can stand closer to the sink"

"""Pick a card....any card."" -impatient Hallmark employee"

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? It's hard to pick one, but the flag is a big plus."

"I warned everyone that I take charades seriously and now three people are crying"

"What do you call five blondes in a pool? Air bubbles."

"Did you hear about the basketball tournament in Mexico? Its Juan vs. Juan"

"People who leave their underwear at parks are either awesome at sex or terrible at dressing raccoons."