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Joke of the Day

"People who leave their underwear at parks are either awesome at sex or terrible at dressing raccoons."

"What do you call a mexican guy with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"I was at the pet shop, and said ""I'd like to buy a wasp."" ""We don't sell wasps,"" they said. ""Then why do you have one in the window?"""

"How is the elevator business? Oh, it has its up and downs..."

"If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then the opposite of progress is..."

"Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a flake."

"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick."

"What are the two sexiest barn yard animals? Brown-chicken-brown-cow"

"What do you call a foreign born communist running for President? Ted Cruz"

"I was nearly crushed under a huge pile of bread. I was in so much pain."