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Joke of the Day

"I don't understand how USB plugs are always upside-down the first time you try to plug them in and ALSO THE SECOND TIME."

"[job interview] You sure you know what it means to be a real estate developer? [i picture myself yelling at a building to try harder] Yes"

"Women - What is the similarity between women and garbagebags? - You fill them up and toss them out the door!"

"Friend: ""Hey, that girl is cute. Can you put in a good word for me?"" Me: ""Sure"" *walks up to girl* *whispers* ""magnanimous"""

"How can you tell that pirates hid the communist manifesto Because an ""X"" Marx the spot"

"What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? I haven't seen you for a year!"

"What's the cheapest cut of meat? Deer nuts: they're under a buck."

"One time I described myself as ""laid back"" and a dictionary became sentient and told me to learn what words mean"

"You should never accept gift from a German The German/English bilingual crowd should be the safest ;)"

"The government. Unfortunately, wherever you're from, they are a joke."