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Joke of the Day

"One time I described myself as ""laid back"" and a dictionary became sentient and told me to learn what words mean"

Next Joke
 
"What do hot cups of coffee and crazy women have in common? You shouldn't stick your dick in it, and you always regret it when you do."
"Honeymooners (II) Her friend asked how the honeymoon went. ""OK,"" she said. ""Though Niagara Falls wasn't as big as I hoped, either."""
"How to do math with sex. You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply!"
"A warning shot into the head."
"Two snowmen are standing in a field... One snowman turns to the other and says, ""yeah, I smell carrots too."""
"How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb? None - because they would all be replaced by white actors."
"What's Jian Ghomeshi's favorite vegetable? Artichoke."
"My Girlfriend is quite the fox... She eats out of the garbage at night."
"What's Gordon Ramsay's favorite sex position? FUCKING RAAAWWW!!!"