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Joke of the Day

"NSFW Why are vaginas and assholes so close together? So that you can carry a woman like a 6-pack of beer."

"Why does John Cena always take awhile to feel better when he's sick? Because the Doctor can never see him."

"The silent ""p"" and ""s"" in ""Corps"" are why I have hardcorps trust issues."

"i made the starbucks guy say large instead of venti I HAVE ALREADY CONQUERED WEDNESDAY WHAT NOW"

"Fewer US schools are selling candy, soda and chips to students After all, that stuff is horrible for pregnancies!"

"I'm so chuffed with myself! I just completed a puzzle in 40 minutes The box said 3-4 years"

"Why do Scottish men watch porno movies backwards? Because they like the scenes where the prostitutes return the money to their clients."

"I was bit by a rattlesnake last summer. After three days of excruciating pain the snake died"

"A 450lb man just hit on me... I tried to let him down as gently as possible... But I'm no forklift."

"NASA spent 1.5mil on a pen that works in space. Russia putin a pencil."