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Joke of the Day

"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you. Iv got an ear infucktion. Better assk again."

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"What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis."
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, natural things... that money can buy. -Homeless man quoting Steve Martin."
"Height of Misunderstanding Wife not talking to Husband & Thinking that She is Punishing him..."
"Why do tumblr users make for poor gunmen? They are afraid of triggers."
"Yo mama so fat! Her Prius gets 12mpg."
"If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are... you have small boobs."
"What's the currency in space? Starbucks"
"i have been trying to teach my dog to speak English.... but his skills are ruff"
"Why did Simba's father die? Because he couldn't Mufasa!"