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Joke of the Day

"Wow I'm hungry. I haven't eaten all year."

"It was a classic Cinderella story: I walked into strangers' houses and made women try on a shoe I found"

"On the bright side, this is gonna be the most environmentally friendly olympics... On the bright side, this is gonna be the most environmentally friendly olympics, even the pools are going green."

"What is Donald Trump's favourite Overwatch hero? Mei, because she's from China and likes to build walls."

"They had 3D HD in the 60s only it was a lot cheaper and called LSD."

"Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate Baby, I'm just gonna shake their soda"

"Did you hear Vaseline is coming out with new labels for its petroleum jelly? They're going to have a picture of missing gerbils on it."

"I explained to my friend that he shouldn't be afraid of drowning in the sea because of Archimedes principle. But he was too dense."

"Who's the wost president ever? Guess we'll find out in January."

"*walks into Kinko's* YO I NEED A CAT SCAN ""I'm sorry sir, we don't--"" *opens bag & removes a terrified cat* I ONLY NEED ONE COPY. IN COLOR."