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Joke of the Day

"I have a really bad phobia of speed bumps... But I'm slowly getting over it"

"Two envelopes had a baby It was male"

"If zombies ever attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can't get in without a Costco membership"

"Talk to the hand. The hand is lonely and needs some company. What are you up to? How's work? You look great. You want some tea?"

"*takes a picture of mother nature* MOTHER NATURE: delete it"

"Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay it would be a bagel!"

"A muslim, a communist, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says hello Mr. President."

"Pretty sure Google has this master plan of taking over the world by blackmailing everyone with their search history."

"The past 2 hours I spent at the mall would have been a lot more constructive if I looked for gifts instead of staring at mannequin nipples."

"What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction? Stupid, filthy habitses!"