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Joke of the Day

"What's do 9v batteries and buttholes have in common? You aren't supposed to lick them, but you do anyway."

"I heard a woman got hit by a motorcyclist the other day... It made me wonder, who the fuck rides a motorcycle into someone's kitchen?"

"My gran keeps banging on about the dangers of the modern world, apparently when she was young she never had to secure her back entrance. What a slag."

"Wife just texted me that she is craving Thai... I need a reply"

"They say yoga is the best form of exercise But I think that's kind of a stretch."

"How did the hipster narco escape from prison? By going underground"

"How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None... They just sit in the dark and bitch about it."

"I think I'm going to sell my Theremin.. Haven't touched it in ages."

"I've just joined a reggae band playing the triangle. I just stand there and ting."

"If you spin an Chinese man around a hundred times... does he get disoriented?"