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Joke of the Day

"She called me ugly I called her an ambulance"

"[VERY RACIST-NSFW] So they get married... So a nigger and a Mexican get married, and both sets of their parents are afraid... THAT THEIR GRANDCHILDREN WILL BE TOO LAZY TO STEAL"

"Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well you've got it again!"

"The longest relationship I had was 10 days. Then she deflated."

"Why are dogs always thirsty? Because water fountains were designed for humans! HEYOOOOOOO"

"I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me."

"I wish I was as photogenic as most puppies."

"What do you call it when you hire your relatives to play with your nipples? Nippletism"

"What's the difference between a paycheck and a penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck"

"Not to brag, but I finished this 14 day diet... in 3 hours and 38 minutes."