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Joke of the Day

"Adderall is really dangerous I'm not sure exactly what happened: I took some, and then I must have blacked out or something... all I know is that I'm a grad student now"

"I went to a feminist picknick today... ...it was great, apart from the fact that no-one made any sandwiches."

"It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that's just for the alcohol."

"What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass! HAHAHAHA!"

"My friend was trying to annoy me with bird puns Well, toucan play at that game"

"Alcohol doesn't make you fat... it makes you Lean... on tables, chairs & random ugly people...or sometimes floors"

"What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym? Diddly squat"

"damn demi, your rap battle opponent didn't even try to diss your clothes. what's your secret. [camera pans out to show all-orange outfit]"

"Told a female Redditor my dick was long... She asked ""we talkin' 'r/TIFU' long or 'r/Jokes' long?"" TIFU by saying Jokes...."

"The Three Words You Dread What are the three words you dread the most while making love? ""Honey, I'm home."""