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Joke of the Day

"911: What's your emergency? Me: He text me first. Just to say hi. What do I do?! 911: Be cool Me: I sent him a list of baby names instead"

"Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5'9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please"

"Why are there no Walmarts in Iraq? Because they're all Targets."

"There are 10 types of people... (with a twist) There are 10 types of people, those who know binary and those who don't and those who understand the off-by-one error."

"What kind of music does a rubber duck listen to? Rub-a-dubstep!"

"A venn diagram is a lot like two fat people sitting next to each other... There's never enough space in the middle."

"Just for fun they should have the next Olympics in Ireland so they can call it the O'lympics."

"When I hear ""Tropical Depression"" I think of Toucan Sam sitting in a rain-forest crying. :("

"Why did the tumblrina quit being a teacher? It wasn't her job to educate people."

"What is the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer came back"