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Joke of the Day

"Has anybody tried unplugging Congress and then plugging it back in??"

"Did you hear about the guy that fell in love with his bag? Turns out he's bi-satchel"

"What starts with P and ends with orn? ;) Popcorn."

"Why is the mens bathroom such an angry place? It's where all the pricks hang out."

"when she gives me her autograph I love it when she signs the restraining order without dotting the i with a heart, playing hard to get I see!"

"So I went to a fortune teller and asked if I was going to get any action that night. She told me she didn't deal in self fulfilling prophecies."

"Just replaced the cat litter with 44 packages of pop rocks... And now we wait."

"If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex to move back in. That would be the longest 3 months of my life."

"Did you hear that Bruce Willis is going to star in a movie where he goes undercover as an elderly nun? It's called Old Habits Die Hard"

"It would be hard work being a deep-sea diver they're under a lot of pressure."