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Joke of the Day

"This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: ""Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken."""

"My missus hates it when I put her chocolate bars in other chocolate bar wrappers. It gets her Snickers in a Twix."

"Whats the difference between an apple and a dead baby I dont come on my apple before I eat it"

"If Jesus invested $1 dollar when He was alive, it would have grown into $100 trillion dollars today. But that's the thing about Jesus, He didn't invest, He saved."

"Guys; You know you need to lose weight when your girlfriend is always wanting to suck on your titties."

"An Apple store got robbed last night and $250,000 worth of equipment was stolen. Police are confident they can recover both the stolen machines."

"Why can't guys do the splits? The banana gets in the way. Banana split"

"What do you call a homeless pigeon? A pigeon."

"I told my doctor that i broke my arm in two places He told me to stop going to those places"

"It's no wonder Q: Why did Stevie Wonder step in the turd? A: Because he can't see shit."