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Joke of the Day

"i like languages that pronounce all the letters in their spellings. no secrets, just each word an open faced sandwich"

"Why does no one like the swiss army? Because they are all a bunch of tools."

"And on the second day, God created the sunset and He saw that it was good but decided it would looketh better with the Amaro filter."

"Him: You're a DJ? I'm not one for dancing. I've got this leg, you see? I've had it since the war. Me: How long have you had the other one?"

"""Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight."" -- The Swiss Army"

"Suicide Bombers...... What makes them tick?"

"Why did the liberal go to the gynecologist? She was feelin' the Bern!"

"What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts"

"""Mommy, why did Santa decide to deliver presents on Jesus' birthday."" Shits about to get REALLY dishonest up in here."

"""Why?""- existential owl"