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Joke of the Day

"i am practicing how to die in photogenic positions"

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"I keep getting a message that ""Twitter is having issues""nnGood job guys...we drove twitter crazy!"
"If I was Genghis Khan's personal advisor Every time he had a moment of self doubt, I'd remind him he is Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't."
"Most people see a ""pregnant mom"" planned parenthood sees a ""parts store."""
"You are from russia, right? I mean, someone said he is putin his dick in your mom tonight"
"Steve Jobs What do cancer cells do when they get bored? they get jobs"
"I paid $600 to get off once Damn court costs."
"What do you call a mushroom who strongly believes in radical Islamism? a fungimentalist"
"Stole my neighbors family portrait & got it tattooed on my back. Now I'm standing in their living room facing the wall 2 see if they notice."
"Bless me, Father, for I have used Comic Sans. It's been eight weeks since my last use of Helvetica."