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Joke of the Day

"Say ""No, TWO drugs."""

"Does anyone have the address for starving kids in Africa? Our daughter doesn't want her waffle fries."

"Today I thanked my toilet, because it puts up with my shit everyday."

"Who is the Prime Minister of Israol? Netanyahoo"

"*Blows air in girls face like Nintendo cartridge* ""Ok, NOW will you go out with me?"""

"Losing your spouse can be hard. But it's not impossible."

"How many Southern Baptists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Change?!"

"I said this to my girlfriend today, she wasn't impressed Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. I'm shit at poems, Now show me your tits."

"*holding your xray up to the light and looking at it* when did you first notice your back hurting? ""after the knife went in"""

"Yeah, did you hear about the really chatty snake gynecologist? Well, he was good at his job, but I just couldn't stand how he kept sticking his head in my business."