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Joke of the Day
"A positive parent.. A positive parent said to their negative child... Your grounded."
Next Joke
"What's a monkey's favorite snack? Rhesus Peanut butter cups!"
"I think the San Francisco 49ers should embrace their region's history and name their cheerleaders the Gold Diggers"
"Did you hear about the secret cure for everything that the government doesn't want us to know about? Exactly..."
"""Sexting"" is the sending of sexually explicit text and picture messages. It is not, apparently, an appropriate way to submit a resume."
"I like musical instruments that you blow into. They're pretty... *Breathtaking*"
"How to be happier: 1. Exercise 2. Lift weight 3. When you've become stronger due to those exercises, smack the person who made you unhappy."
"Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out of the knickers."
"I must remember...no matter how well hidden I might be in my cardoard box fort, my boss can still track me down by the giggling."
"I don't always roll a joint but when I do, It's my ankle"