213405

Joke of the Day

"Age is just a number. (That roughly indicates how close you are to menopausing/getting super ugly/dying)"

"My fortune cookie message read : ""You appeal to a small, select group of confused people"" .... Uh huh ...."

"I had a stomach ache... My SO asked what's wrong, I said ""I have a clog in my intestines"" she responds with ""you need to stop eating shoes"""

"My girlfriend says I'm hopeless at fixing appliances. Well she's in for a shock."

"Here comes my big moment... MOMENT."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Billy Bragg ! Billy Bragg who ? Billy Braggs too much tell him to stop it !"

"Why do the republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard? They need it to shoot themselves in the foot."

"Poor Product Name Power equipment manufacturer Stihl recently developed a baby harness. They're calling it the Stihl Bjorn. So far, the only order placed has been by Rick Santorum."

"My girlfriend just texted me, her dragon name was ""Vaerjuam"". I was like "" Hey Vaerjuam. I'm dad."""

"""Hello, is this anonymous NSA hotline?"" ""Yes, David, how can we help you?"""