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Joke of the Day

"Poor Product Name Power equipment manufacturer Stihl recently developed a baby harness. They're calling it the Stihl Bjorn. So far, the only order placed has been by Rick Santorum."

"Damn girl, are you my Boy Scout troop leader? Cause you're making me pitch a tent."

"Listen, when I say a movie was ""cute"" I do not mean it was GOOD. A girl saying a movie was cute is just code for ""My ovaries liked it."""

"You don't hear much about Snow White's eighth dwarf, but they should never have trusted Clumsy with an axe."

"MAY' contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn't. DON'T WASTE MY TIME"

"What does the middle and middle earth have in common They both have short hairy men that like to carry swords"

"What do you call Chinese jewelry? Bling blong"

"""..all the king's horses & all the king's men couldn't get Humpty together again"" *raises hand* What guy thought horses might figure it out?"

"[Batman & Joker at a table in Arkham Asylum] Joker: Wanna know I got these Scars? *He gestures at his Lion King action figures* Batman: Ugh"

"So the other day in calculus we were talking about concavity I asked if that's why prisoners brush their teeth"