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Joke of the Day

"A gross joke which is better to listen to, than to read. - What is the difference between diarrhea and a regular stool? You can't [gbrblblblbl](gargling noise) with a regular stool."

"I tried being polite by holding the door open for a lady She kept yelling, ""I'm peeing in here!"" What a bitch."

"I suffer from an unusual obsessive compulsive disorder, CDO I have to write acronyms in alphabetical order"

"What's the best drug to have sex on? Birth control."

"As I exposed my glorious chest hairs & catapulted toward the Velcro wall, I realized that I had no exit strategy."

"I remember when yoga was called Twister."

"I have a habit of standing naked in the laundry room wondering what to wear. This may have contributed to my immense popularity in college."

"Wife: Well, they say a mirror adds ten pounds. Me: That's a cam- Wife: ... Me: Yes. Yes they do."

"How many Russians does it take to elect the President of the United States? Just Trump."

"I was playing guitar then my 2 year old took my guitar pick and dropped it somewhere. ""Where is my pick,"" I said. He replied ""Oink Oink! "" I repeated the question but got the same answer every time."