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Joke of the Day
"Whew. Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower."
Next Joke
"A priest asks a rabbi, ""when are you going to finally try pork?"" The rabbi replies, ""At your wedding friend,"""
"[on the phone] wife: My mom tripped over the dog me: Is she ok? wife: Yeah me: Can I talk to her? wife: Sure *calls for the dog*"
"Wife: The kid was holding a sparkler. Me: ...I thought her arm was on fire. Wife: You hosed her down for 9 minutes."
"A man is walking down the street dragging 20 ft of rope behind him. His neighbor is curious & asks, ""Hey buddy, why you pulling that rope?"" The man replies, ""You ever tried pushing it?"""
"When a newly married couple smile, everyone knows why. But when a fifteen year married couple smile every wonders why..!!!"
"Are you a hydroelectric source of power? ...cause dam!"
"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Strap a steak to the ceiling"
"Anyone want to know my secret to quit procrastination? I'll tell you tomorrow."
"What's the difference between the Hillary Clinton and a piece of fruit? The fruit can only get so rotten."