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Joke of the Day
"All the terrible rumors about me are true, people who spam me via DM."
Next Joke
"Plenty of great people were single just like you are. For instance: Voldemort. Wait, bad example. You're way less talented than Voldemort."
"Windows 8 is like my ex... Looks good, is nice for touch and play, but terrible for the real work."
"Apart from designers, what profession is the best at making clothes? Biologists, they work with genes all the time."
"I don't get why my dad talks on a phone. He's so loud all he has to do is open the window and they can hear him."
"What do you call a liver transplant? A delivery."
"Why do we have oceans? Because based god and acid god had a baby."
"What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken, eggs can't cum"
"The average life expectancy for a human being is one life."
"Why don't blind people bungee jump? It scares the fuck out of the dogs."