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Joke of the Day

"I am a joke. I am not a joke. What is laughter? DEATH! I died of laughter tomorrow!"

"If Eminem converted to Islam.. ..he'd be MuSlim Shady."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered child molester."

"Every good story starts with a strong female character. You know, some heroin."

"I ruin friend groups by always suggesting we start a band too early"

"How to turn a dishwasher into a snow blower? Give the bitch a shovel"

"What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11? ""Nin, ten, *Doh*"" ....I'll leave now."

"Why was the apricot late to the party? He got stuck in a jam."

"What did the pirate say when his kids were about to watch their favorite cartoon? ARE YE READY KIDS?!"

"Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico? He couldn't find three wise men or a virgin."