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Joke of the Day

"our teacher used to make us do 100 lines if we'd been naughty. my nose was wrecked at the end of it"

"YOU TWEETED 23 TIMES TODAY. RT @realDonaldTrump People ask me what I do in my free time. The answer--I don't have any."

"what is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? beer nuts are at least a dollar fifty, and deer nuts are just under a buck."

"*aggressively keeps eye contact with attractive people to let them know I mean business*"

"I finally got my first interview since moving to the US. Almost able to say something more romantic to the GF than ""you're out of batteries"""

"almost called my teacher ""mom,"" but I caught myself after ""mo"" and added an ""n."" I had to pretend I was Jamaican for the rest of the year."

"Football joke Joke: What is the difference between Arjen Robben and the time?"

"Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team? Because she ran away from the ball!"

"Saw some Mennonites playing Baseball yesterday All I saw was a swing and Amish"

"Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is ""Miracle on 34th Street."" Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is ""It's a Wonderful Life."" Right-Wing Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is ""Die Hard."""