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Joke of the Day

"Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team? Because she ran away from the ball!"

"What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year? Breakfast."

"What would To Kill a Mockingbird be called if Harper Lee was an alcoholic? Tequila Mockingbird."

"Did you hear the one about the phoney Cupid? He was totally bow-gus!"

"How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb? 1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'"

"I want ""Wake me if anything cool happens"" on my tombstone."

"How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen do? enough to kill 2 1/2 men."

"[out to eat with in-laws] Me: Waiter, your cheapest bottle of champagne Wife: Hey these are my parents Me: Waiter, 4 glasses of tap water"

"A geneticist was unhappy with the result when he spliced potato DNA with that of his own genitals. Nobody likes dictators"

"Customer: You said these pants were pure wool but the label says ""all cotton."" Salesman: Oh that's just to keep the moths away."