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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she wouldn't have sex with me until I did everything on the ""To-Do list"" So I scratched out **#1** ""*Wash the car*"" and replaced it with ""*Have a three-some with Becky and Wife*"""

"Why are pirates, pirates ? CASUE THEY ARGHHHHHHH"

"Did you blow bubbles when you were a kid? Of course you did. I saw him the other day at the mall making balloon animals. He says hi."

"Wanna know a joke? Look through this subreddit, there are plenty of good ones to be found!"

"I wouldn't say I ""missed"" your call."

"Horses are so negative in meetings.... They are such neigh-sayers."

"Green eggs and 9/11 #SadDrSeuss"

"What's worse than a cardboard box? Paper tits."

"If I say ""Someone else's God"", Then say ""Dammit"" Is it still a sin ?"

"I'm actually kind of handsome when you're drunk and the light is low and there's no other dudes around and you have low standards."