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Joke of the Day

"[At the first thanksgiving] Pilgrims: Im thankful for the land you gave us Natives: we didnt give you land? Pilgrims: *winks at the camera*"

"I have a girlfriend Not sure if this is really a joke, but everyone laughs when I say it."

"Everyone take nude selfies now ""Keep your phone in your pocket next to your genitals and they're bound to get together and have a couple of drinks"" -Stephen Colbert"

"I was going to make a joke about pepper but it was too insalting."

"How do you refer to a necessary bear? Pandatory. Stupid, I know."

"Why is it so confusing to play chess with the British? It's only check, mate"

"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey But then I turned myself around. So that's what it's all about."

"I am your Doctor. Sorry to inform you that you have a brain problem. Your brain is in 2 parts... Left and right. The left part has nothing right in it, and the right has nothing left in it'"

"Takeoffs are optional... Landings are mandatory"

"Why should you never date a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them."