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Joke of the Day

"[At the first thanksgiving] Pilgrims: Im thankful for the land you gave us Natives: we didnt give you land? Pilgrims: *winks at the camera*"

"A three-legged dog sits down at the bar Orders a whiskey. Bartender asks,""What brings you to these parts?"" Dog responds,""Lookin for the sonofabitch who shot my paw.'"

"Drilling into American House Walls is like paying into German Welfare risky as fuck."

"I'm a fan of Star Wars. So at lunch I saved my pork for last so I could have Ham Solo."

"Why are astronomers so popular with the ladies? Chicks dig stars."

"A Mexican with a raging erection walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first? The lawnmower."

"What did the sheep at the fraternity say? Braaaaaaaah"

"Why is that Bono still hasn't found what he's looking for? Because he's always standing by The Edge."

"I have a friend who won't admit that he dresses up as Santa every year. He's pretty deep in the Clauset."

"What is an astronomer? A night watchman with a college education."