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Joke of the Day

"I don't trust atoms. Because they make up everything"

"Why was the pirate arrested for polygamy? He kept on and on about his mateys."

"I'm more of a leader than a follower, unless you're wearing yoga pants."

"whatever you do Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood."

"It's like my golf instructor thinks I'm mature enough to handle him talking about balls, and how to properly grip the club."

"I'd catch a gently thrown tennis ball for you."

"Women can detect even the smallest of lies, but on TV they tell them they can lose 20 pounds in 5 days and they believe it all."

"How do you pick up a jewish girl? In a dustpan."

"Calculus should be taught in every high school around the world. It is such an integral field of math."

"I tried killing a spider with glitter body spray. Now it won't stop stripping & I have to call it Cinnamon."