212781

Joke of the Day

"""Everyone has at least one novel inside them"" Baffled airport security rectal examiner at the end of a long, confusing shift"

"Are you Jewish? Because your body's smokin ;)"

"NSFW My friend told me how much she hated sucking dick. I said I've never done it so I can't felate."

"What do you call 3 agnostics sitting at a bar? I don't know."

"A nice looking girl waved at me earlier today but there was no way I was swimming out that far to save her."

"What's the difference between a Pound and a Dollar? A dollar"

"Whats the difference between two dicks and a joke? Your Mom can't take a joke."

"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce."

"[to an inflatable tube man waving outside a car dealership] i feel like you're overreacting. these are moderate savings at best"

"Don't let the correct punctuation fool you; I'm basically a 4 year old with good grammar."